The Admirable Rules and Stipulations for the Acquisition and Amassing of Dolls

I, Supreme Keeper of the Creepiness Levels, declare the Everlasting Rules and Stipulations that She Who is Called Molly must fulfill in their entirety or face the Excessive and Hideous Consequences that result from Deviation. These All Powerful Rules and Stipulations are in regards to the Acquisition and Amassing of Dolls, these Dolls being hereby defined as small figures representing human beings with the purpose of Playing or Dressing. She Who is Called Molly is bound by the highest binding power in the Land, and must abide by the forthcoming Magnificent Rules and Stipulations if she wishes to keep her Sanity.

And Humbert of the Doomed Land of Atlanta called upon the then Supreme Keeper of the Creepiness Levels, the Consistently Atrocious Ransu “The Reasonable One” Alessandro, shouting to his Holiness, “O OMNIPOTENT KEEPER, please manage my Creepiness Levels and restrain them in a respectable fashion from approaching ridiculousness.” Humbert of the Doomed Land of Atlanta was then cast down and blown into tiny smithereens for he had forgotten that the then Supreme Keeper of the Creepiness Levels, the Consistently Atrocious Ransu “The Reasonable One” Alessandro, was in fact very deaf and regarded any body speaking to him to be attacking.

"And the LORD did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu..."

THE INFINITE AND GLORIOUS RULES AND STIPULATIONS FOR SHE WHO IS CALLED MOLLY AS SET FORTH BY THE SUPREME KEEPER OF THE CREEPINESS LEVELS, ANGRYQUAKE SILVERRAIN “PEDRO” PROMETHEUS OPAL XII, MASTER OF THE FIVE ASPENS, PRIME VANQUISHER OF QUAILS UNSEEN, HIGHEST EXCELLENCY IN THE KINGDOM OF LAS AGUAS DE LA MUERTE:

1. She Who is Called Molly will be subjected to the Creepiness Factor Index, which rates thy creepiness on a Holy Scale from 1 (minimal creepiness, such as watering your lawn in the middle of the night) all the way to that cursed number of Creepiness 10 (extreme creepiness, such as having a soundproof escape-proof basement for your “hobbies”…).
2. Creepiness Rating will be judged according to price of the Doll being acquired ($50 = 5CR, $100+ = 10CR, and so forth). In regards to the acquisition of Dolls, She Who is Called Molly may accrue 5 Creepiness Points within a six month period. If She so desires, She may “save up” her Creepiness Points and make a Very Creepy Acquisition with no adverse retaliations from the Supreme Keeper. Points may be deferred for up to a year period without advance approval from the Supreme Keeper, any longer postponements will be subject to current market trends and Blood Oath deposition.
3. Acquisition of Doll “Accessories” will be judged in a comparable but separate manner to that of Dolls. The Accessory Acquisition Scale will have a cap of 5CR along with a similar deferring policy.
4. She Who is Called Molly may produce her own Doll “Items”, whensoever she wishes with little subjugation from the Supreme Keeper of the Creepiness Levels. She will be required to publicly document her endeavors and/or disclose them to the Supreme Keeper. There will be an Unspoken Agreement between the Supreme Keeper and She Who is Called Molly of what constitutes Creepy and Not Too Creepy.
5. Dolls are not nor ever will be allowed to have distinguishable personalities, backstories, or other “human traits” other than those Creepily predetermined by the Creepy Manufacturer of the Doll. She Who is Called Molly may rename a Doll if its name is so undesirable or Too Creepy, these Christenings must be recognized by the Supreme Keeper of the Creepiness Levels and so ordained into the public record. Doll Christenings will contain no more than Three Mentions of the Unholy Quails.

She Who is Called Molly must abide by the Admirable Rules and Regulations set forth by the Imperial and Intimidating Supreme Keeper of the Creepiness Levels, whose Full and Glorious name will not be repeated for it is far too Impressive, or She Who is Called Molly will face the Punishments That Need Not Be Spoken For All Know Their Terror.

The Great Seal of the Supreme Keeper of the Creepiness Levels: